This motherhood business, the journey of becoming a Mama…it’s a terrifying, yet thrilling one. I think becoming a mama shows you what you are made of. Shows you that you can do more and feel more than you could ever imagine. You enter in unknowingly. You can read all the books (I certainly did!) – but really, this gig is purely on-the-job training. Working it out as you go.
Bringing forth life – this little human is literally the only one on this earth that has heard your heartbeat from inside your body. That thought alone is worth pausing and thinking about the awe of it all.
You learn so much about life, and you learn so much about yourself. You realise that you can function on way less sleep than you ever thought humanly possible. The endless, sleepless night of rocking an unsettled babe is torture, yet you do it anyway. The endless washing a tiny baby produces in just one day – with spit ups, throw-ups, poop explosions… and yet you load it all in and fold it all up anyway…day after day after day.
The way your heart explodes, and time literally stands still the moment you meet them earthside – and you realise that there is a depth of love you never knew was possible. Romantic love of a partner is different to the all-consuming ferocious love of a child. You literally cannot believe you could love someone as much as the little human who came forth from you.
Four babies in…and 5 years since I last held my own newborn, I still marvel at the mystery of motherhood. This journey, this calling, this season – it brings me to my knees in surrender and humility. Some days can feel so damn hard – and you can feel like you are barely treading water. But most days, for me now as I have left the baby stage behind, they are now falling into familiar rhythms of a different type of busyness. I no longer have the toll of broken sleep night after night after night…and though for those of you who are in the thick of it – and you wonder when the elusive sleep through – or at least the consistent sleep through begin. I say to you beautiful mama – it will come.
I have swapped the relentless pre-school years (my youngest will start school next year) for new worries of friends and school. Whether my kids are spending too much time on technology. Am I raising kids with entitlement? How do I loosen the reigns and let them become who they are, but protect them from the dark things in this world? It is a delicate balance, and I am certainly learning every day. I glean of other mama’s who have gone before and who parent the way I want to parent. Don’t be afraid to ask and seek. The more experienced mama’s are more than happy to let you know gently things they would do different or what works for them. Steer clear of the mama’s who want to tell you “YOU MUST DO IT THIS WAY.” Motherhood is such a personal journey that you will find you collect “ways” from others as you fumble through and find “ways” that works best for you and your babies. An eclectic toolkit that you have brought together from your own learning, trial, and error and the wisdom from more experienced mama’s.
Be kind to yourself and look after yourself.